You say you want us to do something and then you go ahead and do it yourself.”  She was right.  I was the reason people weren’t helping.  I wanted them to step up.  In fact that’s why I had arranged this meeting with my team.  Something had to be done because the quality and attendance of our high school program was declining.  In the end we realized the problem…ME.

When there is a problem it’s easy to blame everyone but yourself.  When it comes to youth ministry we often push blame on the: Continue Reading…

A few months back I had a young woman ask me, “How do I convince my pastor to make my position full time?”  I sensed frustration on the end.  She had been advocating for the position for quite some time but wasn’t making any progress. 

If there are teenagers in your community, you need a full time youth ministry.  While that might not be fiscally possible, it still should be a goal., it should be a goal to fund.  With a full time youth minister you can invest in a young church and the future church.

 So, why the push back?  Why, aren’t churches going above and beyond to hire men and women full time to pour into the next generation? It’s because:

Continue Reading…

There is no union so precious and so fruitful between husband and wife as 
that of holy devotion, in which they should mutually lead and sustain each other. - St. Francis de Sales, the Devout Life

A week ago my wife, Kate and I celebrated 7 years of marriage.  I’m happy to say that our relationship is stronger than it was when we first got married.  Granted, in the honeymoon phase nothing can go wrong, but then you have that first fight.   Continue Reading…

Click. “Hello?” A not so happy parent had just hung up on me.  They wanted to see if their child could opt out of the Confirmation retreat because of the distance we were traveling.  I said, “Sorry, if there was a different conflict I could help you, but not wanting to go isn’t a legitimate excuse.”  

Being a people pleaser leads to burnout.  In fact people pleasers really have no place in youth ministry.  In the end they only: Continue Reading…

I’m not a great small group leader.  I own the conversation and ask too many closed ended questions.  Despite my shortcomings the guys in my small group like me and I love them.  The largest challenge I face is bringing them back each week.

Bringing students back is a challenge.  On top of all their responsibilities they’ll have to deal with their lives constantly changing.  To work with teenagers in an ever changing world it’s important to think:

RELATIONALLY

That means looking at the teens who attend as more than numbers.  It’s about understanding why they come and why they don’t.  To think relationally and bring teens back you need to: Continue Reading…