Keys To Improving The Relationship With Your Pastor

When I’m asked, “How do I get my pastor on board?” I immediately respond with a question, “How is the relationship with your pastor?”  Most times the answer isn’t clear and that’s a problem.

The relationship with your pastor is important.  If you don’t trust or respect his leadership you are probably in the wrong place.  If you feel like it has potential, but needs to be improved then you need to:


Anytime there is a gap in communication you allow doubt and mistrust to fill it.  You need to make sure that you two are talking.  It doesn’t have to just be professional, but it should be constant.

When you have constant communication with your pastor you will make it easier to talk about the tougher issues.  You will also build trust because he won’t feel like you are hiding something.


Your pastor deals with a lot of stress.  Not only is he the leader of your church, but he’s the leader of a small business.  He has a tremendous burden on his shoulders and can’t do it on his own.

No matter what you think of your pastor you need to pray for him.  Ask God to continue to lead him.  Pray for grace, patience and wisdom.


Your pastor is going to make decisions you might not agree with.  Never express your disagreement publicly.  Bring it to him and resolve it privately.  This will not only protect his image, but the relationship you are trying to build.

Respect for his authority will build trust between you two.  He knows that not all of his decisions will be popular or right.  The last thing he needs is another critic.  Respect his authority and earn influence to lead up.


Your pastor is constantly serving and pouring out his energy.  By the end of the week he’s probably feeling beaten and drained.  As an employee you need to encourage and cheer him on.

Take the time to thank him and show him gratitude.  Ask him, “Can I do anything for you?”  When he is reminded that he is not alone, it will give him the encouragement to lean into the chaos church leadership brings.

If you want to enjoy your time as a youth minister then you are going to need to know how to lead up.  Build the relationship you have with your pastor by making it a priority.  The investment is worth it.

How would you rate the relationship you have with your pastor?



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